The Last Five Minutes

The last five minuets you will ever spend with somebody...it's not something we really think about. We have some very good friends, no family, who are foster parents. Their little lady has been with them 114 days. Their hearts fully belong to this little lady, but unfortunately she will more than likely leave them one day. And that day will probably be sooner rather than later.

Today they wrote about imagining their last five minutes with her. How painful a thought that must be. I have spent a handful of hours with this precious little girl, and she stole my heart after the first five minutes. Aside from school, work, and one date they have spent every minute with this beautiful child. For the last 114 days they have poured themselves into her. They have taught her, encouraged her, provided her a stable home, and given her unconditional love knowing she would only be a guest star in their story.

Knowing you have to say goodbye to someone does not make it any easier. But if you do know that goodbye is in the future take advantage of that. Because most of the time, we don't know when the last five the minutes will be. Everyone wonders "what would I do if this were my last day on earth," but no one ever wonders "what would I do if this were your last day on earth?". People would have far fewer regrets if we thought like this more often.

Unfortunately, I learned this lesson at a very young age. My dad passed when I was nine years old. I remember the last five minutes with him. I remember them, and I regret them. I remember every word, and it causes me pain every time I think about it. I didn't say "goodbye." I didn't say "I love you." I wish so badly that I had.

I didn't know those were my last five minutes with him, but since I was old enough to realize how much pain not saying goobye caused I find it extremely difficult to not say goodbye. Even in the dreaded teenage years when my mom and I had it out I can't remember going to bed without saying "I love you" ... just in case. And when Josh and I are fighting I literally can not sleep without apologizing and saying "I love you." 

My situation may seem extreme, but the point is this: what you are feeling is temporary. No matter what you are fighting about, no matter what pain someone has caused you, if you love someone that love takes precedence. Even in happy moments we must remember our time here is finite, not one minute is promised. You will never get over not saying goodbye to someone. Wishing you could say "I love you" just one more time is a desire that will never fade. It's thinking past now, past your emotions, and recognizing what's important. 

Thinking about your last five minutes with someone does not have to be a morbid task. It doesn't even have to be a sad one. In fact, it is joyous. It is a time to celebrate them, to let them know they are special to you, to let them know they are loved. 

So, next time you leave a family dinner, next time you go shopping with your best friend, next time you kiss your spouse goodbye for work, or next time you are thinking of slamming the door and going to bed angry remember: it could be your last five minutes with them. Cherish every minute. Never let love go unspoken. 

I wish you could see her beautiful, freckled face!